THE THING ABOUT MY BIRTHDAY

So here’s the thing… I skipped a year at school.  No, no don’t get too excited, I’m not some sort of child prodigy who was in need of more intellectual stimulation than my age group could provide, I actually just wanted to move schools when I was five and it was decided that the measly 20 days left of September until my sixth birthday were not enough to warrant a whole extra year of school fees. So when all is said and done, I pretty much missed a year of colouring-in and hop-scotch.

Although my colouring skills have always been slightly below par, there have been many benefits to being the youngest person in my school and University year group and my favourite side effect has been the fact that I am probably the only person on the planet over the age of eighteen who enjoys getting older.  When every single one of my friends goes through and overcomes the progressively more traumatic experience of adding an extra year to their age, by the time late September comes around the whole aging thing has rather lost it’s depressing edge and I am proverbially (and yes, sometimes literally) rubbing my hands together in greedy anticipation of presents, cake and champagne.  

At the grand old age of 26, this year has been my best birthday yet!  Spanning a total of two and a half weeks, my celebrations have included a girl’s night in, a family feast, a night out in Soho, a champagne picnic in Hyde Park, a surprise Birthday dinner with all my University friends in attendance and a long weekend in Paris!  How my 30th is ever going to live up to this I don’t know...

Thanks must go to my family for what might be the first and only time where they have managed to keep something quiet; all my wonderful friends for taking the time and money to be in the same place at the same time; my two best friends for being so organisationally helpful and of course my lovely boyfriend for making the whole thing possible.

THE THING ABOUT GREAT BRITISH BAKE OFF-ITIS

So I woke up this morning and had an epiphany: What if I am an incredibly talented baker and just don’t know it?  Granted until now my forays into the world of cake and bread preparation have been few and even those ended in some rather ridiculous results.  For instance, my family have still not forgotten about the time I dropped a surprisingly beautiful creation on the floor and they were forced to pick out pieces of Denby plate from each slice to save my feelings.  It was still quite tasty though, even with the unanticipated crunch.  However, far be it from the odd china tragedy to stymie my life-long (day old) dream of becoming the next confectionery virtuoso!

And so once more into the breach (kitchen) I go!  With the help of the wonderful Mrs Mary Berry and her Great British Bake Off inspiration, I shall attempt to unlock my possibly dormant culinary genius.

8 hours later...

Well, most of them were edible at least.  I ended up doing three batches: The first suffered from a sad misreading of the recipe and failed to rise due to lack of baking powder, the second and most successful batch stuck to what I am now suspecting were Yorkshire pudding trays, not cupcake trays hmmm…, and the third were quite significantly over-baked as my friend came over and distracted me with cups of tea and gossip.

By far the best facet of my cupcakes was the vanilla icing on top.  Although I was a bit heavy handed with the food colouring and my tasteful pastels somehow ended up at the more radioactive end of the scale, if that vanilla icing was a man, I would already be married and having his babies.  It was also extremely useful in covering up unwanted lumps and bumps on the sponge.

And so, having disposed of the first batch and over half of the third, my cupcake success rate ended up hovering somewhere around the 40% mark.  These were systematically devoured by my family and none of them have been ill so far...

15 THINGS I SAY AND PEOPLE THINK I'M JOKING... BUT I'M REALLY NOT

1) “Oh good it’s raining, my car needed a wash.”

2) “The most romantic thing my boyfriend ever did for me was not text me for a week when I was on holiday with the girls.”

3) “I drank 12 cups of tea today.”

4) “I wish my boobs were smaller.”

5) “I passed my driver’s test first time.”

6)  “I'm pretty sure I make the best scrambled eggs in the whole world.”

7) “I spend at least an hour in the bath every day.”

8) “I probably attended less than 30% of my University lectures.”

9) “I know every single word to about 10 Disney films.”

10) “I have 8 Christmas trees in my house every year, not including the ones in the garden.”

11) “I have a weird attraction to most middle aged Scottish men, the grumpier the better.”

12) “I have a cottage cheese addiction, it’s what I miss most when I go on holiday.”

13) “Traditionally I make my Birthday celebrations last for over three weeks.”

14) “I was genuinely relieved when the world didn’t end in 2012.”

15) “I know more French, German, Spanish, Italian and probably Elvish than Welsh and I have lived in Wales my whole life.”

GIFT INSPIRATION: Bottled and ready to use

I am in love with these little bottles from Parlane International.  They say "Brain Waves: Best before somebody else thinks of them; Brilliant Ideas: Best before you are fired; Dreams and Fantasies: Best before you wake up."

WHICH FRIEND ARE YOU?

I consider myself very lucky to have a wide variety of friends.  By this I mean, although we have thousands of things in common, each of our personalities are vastly different.  In my opinion, this is why we will be friends forever and ever.  

Using a few of my favourite ladies as inspiration, I tried to categorise my friends:

1)  The Sensible One.  If you have always been conscientious and followed a well-ordered career path, thinking three steps ahead, it is likely that you are the sensible one.  You can often be recognised by your immaculate hair, clothes clothes and smart shoes with a sensible heel.  Favourite shops include Reiss, Coast and Ted Baker.

2)  The Crazy One.  I have a few of these.  The crazy one is known for keeping life interesting with her impulsive decisions, jet-setting and intriguing view on life.  She is often found in oversized woolly jumpers, kooky hairstyles and chunky jewellery.  Favourite shops include Topshop and funky charity stores.

3)  The Trendy One.  This is the girl who could rock a bin sack and persuade you it is couture.  When out shopping she will pick up the last thing you would ever go near from the rack, try it on and look fresh off the catwalk.  She is usually sporting a lot of black, chunky heels and a leather jacket.  Can be found in every shop under the sun.

4)  The Ambitious One.  This proactive lady lives life asking herself ‘what else can I do?’  She does not enjoy sofa days or long films and usually works for herself.  She is also a fitness freak, participating in triathlons and bike rides across Europe, crazy things like that.  Her outfit of choice is usually some sort of sports gear but has been known to throw on a little black dress at least once a week and dance the night away.  Favourite stores include River Island, Miss Selfridge and Veromoda.

5)  The Quiet One.  This friend is an excellent listener and group agony aunt but be sure to listen when she does speak because her witticisms are worth the wait.  She has an understated fashion style, preferring jeans and a hoody throughout the day, but also enjoys letting out her wild child when the mood strikes.  Favourite shops include New Look, American Apparel and Mango.

Each of these wonderful ‘types’ are a vital piece in my beloved friendship jigsaw, and even though the image on each piece is different to the next, together they combine to make a crazy, colourful collage which I would not change for the world.

THE THING ABOUT STAYCATIONS

A staycation is defined as a holiday spent in one’s home country rather than abroad, or one spent at home and involving day trips to local attractions.  Living on the UK mainland, it is almost ridiculously easy for me to hop on an Easyjet flight and be in any number of European countries in less than three hours.  I have therefore given little thought to the concept of a staycation.  However, when some friends of mine from the big bad city wanted to get away from it all for a few days, somebody suggested a little cottage on a little farm in a little village in the Welsh Valleys.  I immediately typed the postcode into Google maps… it was ten minutes down the road from where I live!

The price was right for a converted barn slightly off the beaten track and I made my way along the eight miles of progressively bumpy roads to our new home for the next few days.  Our long weekend was filled with takeaways, walks and wine and by Monday I felt as refreshed as if I had been on a mini-break to the South of France.  In fact, my familiarity with the area and not having to worry about forgetting to pack something (after all I could just nip home and get it if I did!) removed a lot of the stress associated with international travel.  It was all just so easy!

Some of the more mercenary of you might ask why I would fork out the money to pay for accommodation when I have a perfectly good bedroom in my own home, but I still experienced that feeling of excitement and anticipation when you first open the door to a shiny new hotel room or Continental villa.  I am also fortunate enough to live in a region where the scenery and landscape change dramatically from mile to mile so I was just as awed by the panoramic views as my city-dwelling friends.  If we are being really thrifty, there is also the fact that I saved a lot on petrol.

I hope you enjoy my pics and that you do not dismiss the staycation concept out of hand.  While I cannot see myself relinquishing my beloved exotic holidays, I have definitely been converted to dedicating a weekend here and there to exploring my homeland.

5 CLUTCH BAG ESSENTIALS

My best friend and I hit Manchester’s Northern Quarter on Saturday night and while I was at the bar, holding my ground like any self-respecting cocktail seeker, I started rummaging around in my lovely Marc Jacobs clutch.  Cue blogging light bulb moment:  Top 5 clutch bag essentials for a night out (apart from the obvious vitals like phone, money, ID etc. of course).  

1)  A pack of tissues.  A mini pack of Kleenex can save a night, be they a necessary replacement for the inevitable toilet roll deficit or coming to the make-up rescue of an emotional friend.  

2)  A compact mirror.  Why is there always a queue in the ladies bathrooms?  Surely not just because every girl spends an inordinate amount of time spending a penny (I personally blame the impractical architecture of ‘the playsuit,’) but because us ladies cannot resist the lure of a mirror to fix flyaways and eyeliner smudges.  If every girl had a mirror, the system would be much more efficient.

3)  Cheap make-up essentials.  When combined with the clumsy effects of alcohol, the open nature of most clutch bag designs render it entirely likely that certain contents will vanish throughout the night.  The number of Lancome eyeliners and Mac blushers I have lost on such occasions makes me want to weep.  I therefore only take cheapy, years-old powders and pencils out with me.

4)  Perfume testers.  A mini bottle of perfume is all you need to help give you a boost half way through the evening and takes up far less bag space than its expensive 100ml counterpart.

5)  Translucent powder.  An inexpensive face powder is a great way to remove that pesky sheen which accompanies certain vigorous moves.  Feel free to let loose on the dance floor without worrying about looking like a sweaty mess afterwards with a quick blot here and there.

A final tip when packing for a night out is less is more.  Just because some marvellously designed clutch bags offer suitcase-loads of space does not mean we immediately have to fill every square inch.  Save yourself from needless tipsy rummaging time by keeping items to a minimum.