THE THING ABOUT JANUARY

So here’s the thing:  January gets a lot of stick.  No two ways about it.  It doesn’t help that it has to follow Christmas, and then New Year.  Plus most of us are strapped for cash and carrying a little (a lot) of what my best friend calls ‘holiday weight.’  But most of all, there just isn’t anything to look forward to.  February has Valentine’s day which, love it or hate it, is at least a smiley/sad face on the calendar.  March, April and May shotgun Mother’s Day and Easter while by June (if the British seasons are behaving themselves) we are all so jacked up on vitamin D and patchy pinkish tan lines that we can handle anything.  September is still filled with barbeques and last minute Easyjet tickets, October grabs Halloween and then the fireworks are rounded up for November.  And then comes Christmas. Glorious, pleasure-filled, decadent Christmas.  Sigh…

January is derived from the Latin for ‘door.’  Most appropriate what with it being the door to a new year and all.  However, if Christmas is a magnificent garland-draped portal strewn with flashing lights and bursting with trees and presents, then January is the shabby backdoor cousin letting in the draft.  It is no wonder that none of us are eager to go through that battered excuse for a door, while all that is waiting for us are tight clothes, relative poverty and nothing to soften the blow of returning to the monotony of work.  We all feed off each other’s lethargy.  If anyone so much as mentions the dreaded term ‘Christmas blues,’ our shoulders drop and all leftover glitter becomes a rash-inducing irritant.  

So what is to be done?  First of all, don’t join a gym.  This will only lead to an unnecessary snowball of depression at the end of January when you realise you have paid £100 for what was essentially one gym session and 3 sauna sweats over the space of a week.  If you want to exercise then go for a walk. Your bank account will not recriminate you at the end of every month for the rest of the year if you stop walking.  Ditching the excess choccies (or eating them all in one sitting to get them out of the house) and lowering the daily alcohol intake provoked by festive cheer will immediately improve your waistline.  Then cut some carbs, ditch the morning tea break treat and you’ll be back to resembling yourself more than good old St.Nick.  

Now you are not dreading the results of festive plumping, it is time to cultivate the barren wasteland of your events calendar.  If your friends and family are selfish enough not to provide you with birthdays and anniversaries as an excuse to dress up, step up and take responsibility for your own social proliferation.  Start a book club!  It is a great way to kick the guys out and share an evening every fortnight with your favourite girls over wine and nibbles (I would say every week but for said waistline concerns.)  You will soon discover that the actual book discussions take a back seat (and I mean a bus back seat) to gossip and general merriment.  

Get your nearest and dearest involved in your improve-your-mood mission as the Christmas blues epidemic can spread if not vaccinated with smiles and positive thoughts.  Hippies aren’t completely full of nonsense when they preach about healthy spirits leading to healthy minds.  Scientists have proven that the act of smiling releases endorphins which make you happy.  So do it anyway!  Do not allow post-Christmas lethargy to infect your social circle and make a conscious decision to dispel negativity by arming yourself with smiles.

The door of January might not be as overtly camp-tastic as it’s Christmas cousin, but don’t be afraid to grasp the handle and happily stride through to next year.  After all, the number ‘one’ has plenty of positive connotations as well.  I once saw a news report about a young lad who had taken his parents’ garden shed and turned it into an insanely opulent den for himself.  I’m talking crystal chandeliers, velvet upholstery, marble fountain, the works.  Although I’m sure this would be an effective metaphorical microcosm for any number of life lessons, my point is that he left the exterior completely bare.  He felt that the interior was rendered all the more impressive because it was so unexpected in relation to the battered, splinter-riddled nature of it’s threshold.  The door of January might look unimpressive, but who knows what lies on the other side…?

5 JANUARY SILVER LININGS

I am a positive person.  Mostly.  Some might say annoyingly so.  For instance, when I want to lose weight I turn it into a competition with myself, app and all; when I want to save money I get enervated and begin religiously checking my bank balance every payday.  I just love that zing of achievement!  Therefore, I decided to put a happy spin on some common New Year grumbles for all you pessimists out there.

1. “I’m broke.”  Well of course you are!  And do you know why?  Because you have lots of friends and family on whom you could not resist showering Christmas gifts.  For a few weeks you will be feeling the fiscal pinch, but think of that smile which you put on a brother’s/sister’s/parent’s/granny’s face!  Priceless.
2. “There are no more lovely presents to look forward to.”  Well yes but what about actually using all the items you received for Christmas?  Surely your feet are far warmer than they were a month ago will all the socks you received from less imaginative relatives?  For me January is a time to indulge in gallons and tons of the fancy make-up and perfume I requested.  Not to mention DVD’s, CD’s and redeemed gift vouchers with which I can pleasantly fill my evenings.
3. “The weather is rubbish.”  It is an inescapable fact that Winter in the UK leans more towards wet and windy than magical snowfalls.  However, for every storm that batters our coastline and hairlines alike, we are one step closer to Spring.
4. “I’m looking a bit festively plump.”  I blame the lethal combination of my Dad’s cooking and Thornton’s chocolates for the unwanted poundage.  But as I just read in another blog, there are sooooooo many things which taste better than skinny feels!
5. “It will be at least nine months until I can realistically whack out my Christmas jumper again.”  My family have solved this by celebrating everything.  Last year we had a huge Independence Day BBQ… even though we’re British.  Same goes for Thanksgiving, both of the Queen’s Birthdays, The Equinox, St David’s Day, every Sunday… You get the idea.

January will never be my favourite month.  However, this means that it has absolutely no expectational pressure placed upon it’s underrated shoulders and therefore every impromptu bout of fun time is a bonus, and all the more enjoyable because of it.  So cheer up and find those January silver linings, people!  (And if you don’t spot any, it’ll be February before you know it.)

THE THING ABOUT CANDLES

As is my wont on a dismal January evening, I am doing my best impression of a couch potato, waiting for an acceptable time to go to bed.  As it happens I was in this exact spot, reading the same soppy novel, wearing the same comfy PJs and sipping the same brand of tea last night.  So then why do I feel so much more relaxed than 24 hours ago???

Have I had a stress-free day?  Not particularly.  Is my sofa suddenly comfier?  Nope, that’s not it either.  Am I in a wine induced stupor?  Not today.  And then I look down towards the one addition to my therapeutic scene of slouchy solitude: a ‘Winter’ candle from that holy grail of chic, minimalist comfort, The White Company.

Can it be that my entire mood can be attributed to a little pot of wax?  As I watch the flame gently flicker and inhale the delicious fragrance, evocative of all things warm and snuggly, I can feel my heartbeat slowing and my shoulders haemorrhaging their tension into the sofa.  More than ever I can understand why a product which has been essentially rendered redundant by the invention of electricity, remains the driving force behind a multi-billion pound industry.     

You see it is the simple, affordable luxury of it all.  With one strike of a match, the atmosphere of a room is given a flattering makeover from everyday to soft and romantic.  In a human, such an effective transformation usually requires hours of preparation and liberal application of expensive cosmetics!  

They say that our sense of smell is the first to develop, a fact which those clever people in creative labs the world over have cottoned on to.  In most gift shops you can purchase a candle claiming to contain the essence of memories, from children’s sweet shops to holidays by the sea.  The candle in front of me has somehow managed to succeed in recreating the sense and scent of an entire season!

I have therefore added to my new year’s resolution list with some points of candle etiquette.  No longer will I allow these wonderful things which have survived the harsh evolution of technology to be relegated to bathroom and bedroom draws after one use.  I will make a concerted effort give each the burning time it deserves and bask in it’s remedial glow.  I anticipate an extremely chilled out 2015… no pressure to all you chandlers out there!